Saturday 28 March 2009
Saturday 19 July 2008
Tuesday 24 June 2008
Daily life in Labels.
It is 1 am and my skin feels raw as if I’ve been burnt. Sunday evening I shot a series of self portraits for Living in Labels, and with the help of a friend, Kaitlin, I was covered with 145 labels submitted from friends, classmates, coworkers, strangers and more. Sunday night I was up late into the night with friends and then doing homework. And today/yesterday I spent from 8 am to 8 pm in classrooms for the last classes prior to my finals. As a result, it wasn’t until now that I could remove the labels.
I knew prior to having the labels written along my arms, shoulders, neck and back- what words would be there. I was proud for many of them, gave a half hearted approval towards some, disagreed with some but for the most part accepted it. Walking around campus, in class, while getting coffee, and meeting friends - the labels were somewhat an asset. A declaration of my artistic endeavors not being limited to the studio. A visual demonstration of the words featured on me. A fun party trick. (Punctuating a sentence by holding your arm up and shouting WEIRD while showing the word on your arm, awkwardly showing where awkward is written, saying that was SMART and pulling your sleeve back... those were all fun). And for the most part I enjoyed walking around with the reminder of what my studio experience was like.
However it’s night now and I just took an extremely long shower, lathered, rinsed, repeated and I scrubbed my arms/back/shoulders/neck at least 5 times. It took over 8 repetition of this cycle to remove the word BITCH from my right shoulder. Stereotypical Californian Liberal is still lightly visible on my left arm. My right elbow is gay. My wrist is cool. My neck is Bohemian. My chest is radical. My bicep is a workaholic. Most of the other 145 words I managed to eliminate with the combination of body wash and vigorous scrubbing. But now my skin feels raw, I’m more aware not only of the labels but which ones I’m truly eager to embrace. It’s one experience to hear, see and think about how others perceive you. It’s another experience to look in the mirror and awkwardly strain your arms to discover the words bitch, sweet, big booty, smart, etc... staring back at you. And I was obviously much more eager to get bitch, dyke, judgmental, big booty, aloof etc.. off than I was regarding smart, academic, fun loving, artistic, cool, Indian etc... I found it ironic that I was both judgmental and non-judgmental. I found it odd I was labeled "not geeky" and geeky, both mean and good-hearted, quiet and talkative, and driven/goal-oriented and needs to find a direction. People's perceptions covered all ground and walking around I felt a plethora of reactions as I simultaneously was painted as needy and insecure as well as strong and full of self-esteem.
This post felt relevant when I began but looking at it now it seems cliche and trite. Obviously the living in labels part of the experience is more than just acknowledging labels, it’s taking the labels and experiencing them in some form. And when meeting some people for the first time tonight I was lead to wondering, how much of their first impression will be shaped by the visual cues versus being about the interaction which followed. I suppose there’s no way to know for sure as one can’t create a control group and test it, but I was curious never the less. And it seemed relevant to note the difference between the intellectual analysis of how I am percieved versus the emotional reaction to those perceptions being visualized.
Also today I was lucky enough to receive portrait of myself that someone painted using one of the Living in Labels Demo Shoot as a reference photo for- and in this picture the labels are floating around the background rather than on the arms. This presentation of the labels I also find fascinating and once I manage to get a digital copy of the painting I will share that as well. I also found it very interesting to see a portrait of myself through someone else's perception both in the labels, and in the painted portrait. Which I don't get to see as much as my subjects do due to the nature of shooting self portraits- I'm still looking through my own lens.
I still need to begin the black frame shoots; but for now I’ve got my hands full with photos to upload and process, raw skin from scrubbing, and the faded remains of the studio shoot scattered across my skin. And the thoughts and reflections will likely last longer than the fading reminders scrawled on my skin.
I knew prior to having the labels written along my arms, shoulders, neck and back- what words would be there. I was proud for many of them, gave a half hearted approval towards some, disagreed with some but for the most part accepted it. Walking around campus, in class, while getting coffee, and meeting friends - the labels were somewhat an asset. A declaration of my artistic endeavors not being limited to the studio. A visual demonstration of the words featured on me. A fun party trick. (Punctuating a sentence by holding your arm up and shouting WEIRD while showing the word on your arm, awkwardly showing where awkward is written, saying that was SMART and pulling your sleeve back... those were all fun). And for the most part I enjoyed walking around with the reminder of what my studio experience was like.
However it’s night now and I just took an extremely long shower, lathered, rinsed, repeated and I scrubbed my arms/back/shoulders/neck at least 5 times. It took over 8 repetition of this cycle to remove the word BITCH from my right shoulder. Stereotypical Californian Liberal is still lightly visible on my left arm. My right elbow is gay. My wrist is cool. My neck is Bohemian. My chest is radical. My bicep is a workaholic. Most of the other 145 words I managed to eliminate with the combination of body wash and vigorous scrubbing. But now my skin feels raw, I’m more aware not only of the labels but which ones I’m truly eager to embrace. It’s one experience to hear, see and think about how others perceive you. It’s another experience to look in the mirror and awkwardly strain your arms to discover the words bitch, sweet, big booty, smart, etc... staring back at you. And I was obviously much more eager to get bitch, dyke, judgmental, big booty, aloof etc.. off than I was regarding smart, academic, fun loving, artistic, cool, Indian etc... I found it ironic that I was both judgmental and non-judgmental. I found it odd I was labeled "not geeky" and geeky, both mean and good-hearted, quiet and talkative, and driven/goal-oriented and needs to find a direction. People's perceptions covered all ground and walking around I felt a plethora of reactions as I simultaneously was painted as needy and insecure as well as strong and full of self-esteem.
This post felt relevant when I began but looking at it now it seems cliche and trite. Obviously the living in labels part of the experience is more than just acknowledging labels, it’s taking the labels and experiencing them in some form. And when meeting some people for the first time tonight I was lead to wondering, how much of their first impression will be shaped by the visual cues versus being about the interaction which followed. I suppose there’s no way to know for sure as one can’t create a control group and test it, but I was curious never the less. And it seemed relevant to note the difference between the intellectual analysis of how I am percieved versus the emotional reaction to those perceptions being visualized.
Also today I was lucky enough to receive portrait of myself that someone painted using one of the Living in Labels Demo Shoot as a reference photo for- and in this picture the labels are floating around the background rather than on the arms. This presentation of the labels I also find fascinating and once I manage to get a digital copy of the painting I will share that as well. I also found it very interesting to see a portrait of myself through someone else's perception both in the labels, and in the painted portrait. Which I don't get to see as much as my subjects do due to the nature of shooting self portraits- I'm still looking through my own lens.
I still need to begin the black frame shoots; but for now I’ve got my hands full with photos to upload and process, raw skin from scrubbing, and the faded remains of the studio shoot scattered across my skin. And the thoughts and reflections will likely last longer than the fading reminders scrawled on my skin.
Sunday 22 June 2008
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