Saturday 19 July 2008
Tuesday 24 June 2008
Daily life in Labels.
It is 1 am and my skin feels raw as if I’ve been burnt. Sunday evening I shot a series of self portraits for Living in Labels, and with the help of a friend, Kaitlin, I was covered with 145 labels submitted from friends, classmates, coworkers, strangers and more. Sunday night I was up late into the night with friends and then doing homework. And today/yesterday I spent from 8 am to 8 pm in classrooms for the last classes prior to my finals. As a result, it wasn’t until now that I could remove the labels.
I knew prior to having the labels written along my arms, shoulders, neck and back- what words would be there. I was proud for many of them, gave a half hearted approval towards some, disagreed with some but for the most part accepted it. Walking around campus, in class, while getting coffee, and meeting friends - the labels were somewhat an asset. A declaration of my artistic endeavors not being limited to the studio. A visual demonstration of the words featured on me. A fun party trick. (Punctuating a sentence by holding your arm up and shouting WEIRD while showing the word on your arm, awkwardly showing where awkward is written, saying that was SMART and pulling your sleeve back... those were all fun). And for the most part I enjoyed walking around with the reminder of what my studio experience was like.
However it’s night now and I just took an extremely long shower, lathered, rinsed, repeated and I scrubbed my arms/back/shoulders/neck at least 5 times. It took over 8 repetition of this cycle to remove the word BITCH from my right shoulder. Stereotypical Californian Liberal is still lightly visible on my left arm. My right elbow is gay. My wrist is cool. My neck is Bohemian. My chest is radical. My bicep is a workaholic. Most of the other 145 words I managed to eliminate with the combination of body wash and vigorous scrubbing. But now my skin feels raw, I’m more aware not only of the labels but which ones I’m truly eager to embrace. It’s one experience to hear, see and think about how others perceive you. It’s another experience to look in the mirror and awkwardly strain your arms to discover the words bitch, sweet, big booty, smart, etc... staring back at you. And I was obviously much more eager to get bitch, dyke, judgmental, big booty, aloof etc.. off than I was regarding smart, academic, fun loving, artistic, cool, Indian etc... I found it ironic that I was both judgmental and non-judgmental. I found it odd I was labeled "not geeky" and geeky, both mean and good-hearted, quiet and talkative, and driven/goal-oriented and needs to find a direction. People's perceptions covered all ground and walking around I felt a plethora of reactions as I simultaneously was painted as needy and insecure as well as strong and full of self-esteem.
This post felt relevant when I began but looking at it now it seems cliche and trite. Obviously the living in labels part of the experience is more than just acknowledging labels, it’s taking the labels and experiencing them in some form. And when meeting some people for the first time tonight I was lead to wondering, how much of their first impression will be shaped by the visual cues versus being about the interaction which followed. I suppose there’s no way to know for sure as one can’t create a control group and test it, but I was curious never the less. And it seemed relevant to note the difference between the intellectual analysis of how I am percieved versus the emotional reaction to those perceptions being visualized.
Also today I was lucky enough to receive portrait of myself that someone painted using one of the Living in Labels Demo Shoot as a reference photo for- and in this picture the labels are floating around the background rather than on the arms. This presentation of the labels I also find fascinating and once I manage to get a digital copy of the painting I will share that as well. I also found it very interesting to see a portrait of myself through someone else's perception both in the labels, and in the painted portrait. Which I don't get to see as much as my subjects do due to the nature of shooting self portraits- I'm still looking through my own lens.
I still need to begin the black frame shoots; but for now I’ve got my hands full with photos to upload and process, raw skin from scrubbing, and the faded remains of the studio shoot scattered across my skin. And the thoughts and reflections will likely last longer than the fading reminders scrawled on my skin.
I knew prior to having the labels written along my arms, shoulders, neck and back- what words would be there. I was proud for many of them, gave a half hearted approval towards some, disagreed with some but for the most part accepted it. Walking around campus, in class, while getting coffee, and meeting friends - the labels were somewhat an asset. A declaration of my artistic endeavors not being limited to the studio. A visual demonstration of the words featured on me. A fun party trick. (Punctuating a sentence by holding your arm up and shouting WEIRD while showing the word on your arm, awkwardly showing where awkward is written, saying that was SMART and pulling your sleeve back... those were all fun). And for the most part I enjoyed walking around with the reminder of what my studio experience was like.
However it’s night now and I just took an extremely long shower, lathered, rinsed, repeated and I scrubbed my arms/back/shoulders/neck at least 5 times. It took over 8 repetition of this cycle to remove the word BITCH from my right shoulder. Stereotypical Californian Liberal is still lightly visible on my left arm. My right elbow is gay. My wrist is cool. My neck is Bohemian. My chest is radical. My bicep is a workaholic. Most of the other 145 words I managed to eliminate with the combination of body wash and vigorous scrubbing. But now my skin feels raw, I’m more aware not only of the labels but which ones I’m truly eager to embrace. It’s one experience to hear, see and think about how others perceive you. It’s another experience to look in the mirror and awkwardly strain your arms to discover the words bitch, sweet, big booty, smart, etc... staring back at you. And I was obviously much more eager to get bitch, dyke, judgmental, big booty, aloof etc.. off than I was regarding smart, academic, fun loving, artistic, cool, Indian etc... I found it ironic that I was both judgmental and non-judgmental. I found it odd I was labeled "not geeky" and geeky, both mean and good-hearted, quiet and talkative, and driven/goal-oriented and needs to find a direction. People's perceptions covered all ground and walking around I felt a plethora of reactions as I simultaneously was painted as needy and insecure as well as strong and full of self-esteem.
This post felt relevant when I began but looking at it now it seems cliche and trite. Obviously the living in labels part of the experience is more than just acknowledging labels, it’s taking the labels and experiencing them in some form. And when meeting some people for the first time tonight I was lead to wondering, how much of their first impression will be shaped by the visual cues versus being about the interaction which followed. I suppose there’s no way to know for sure as one can’t create a control group and test it, but I was curious never the less. And it seemed relevant to note the difference between the intellectual analysis of how I am percieved versus the emotional reaction to those perceptions being visualized.
Also today I was lucky enough to receive portrait of myself that someone painted using one of the Living in Labels Demo Shoot as a reference photo for- and in this picture the labels are floating around the background rather than on the arms. This presentation of the labels I also find fascinating and once I manage to get a digital copy of the painting I will share that as well. I also found it very interesting to see a portrait of myself through someone else's perception both in the labels, and in the painted portrait. Which I don't get to see as much as my subjects do due to the nature of shooting self portraits- I'm still looking through my own lens.
I still need to begin the black frame shoots; but for now I’ve got my hands full with photos to upload and process, raw skin from scrubbing, and the faded remains of the studio shoot scattered across my skin. And the thoughts and reflections will likely last longer than the fading reminders scrawled on my skin.
Sunday 22 June 2008
Sunday 15 June 2008
Sunday 8 June 2008
Observations - Living in Labels and 365 Faces of the Year
I’m working on two projects which are very different: 365 Faces of the Year and Living in Labels. One is a portrait project that seeks to compare first impressions with assumptions from a stranger and the other is a portrait project that seeks to compare first impressions when seen with assumptions from strangers. Wait...
365 Faces of the Year is a noteworthy project not due to the quality of the photographs or the answers received, but rather for the sheer number of photographs and answers. The similarities and differences, the unexpected answers and unusual perspectives... they all contribute to some greater whole that is hard to define (given that I’m not done, I don’t think I can or should try to define it now). But everyday is a new day, and it’s hard to push the envelope when everyday is a new quest.
Meanwhile while working on Living in Labels instead of starting on a fresh page everyday I come into the studio with a goal and go from there. Weeks before a shoot I start collecting the labels, organizing them, and when I go into the studio my model is ready to face how other’s perceive them while taking a portrait. There’s a lot of preparation involved in the shoot and rather than being a snapshot portrait, the photos are legitimate portraits.
Both of these projects look at what is and what appears to be within an individual. One asks others how they judge and then presents the individual with those judgements. The other asks individuals questions and presents them for judgement. The central theme of identity seems to be something I can’t get away from, especially given that it wasn’t something I consciously thought I should shape my major projects around.
Something I’ve noticed especially with Living in Labels is the difference between what people assume people think, and what people do think (or at least what thoughts they present). Despite the fact that people are given the chance to provide anonymous feedback, the amount of negative feedback has been almost non-existent. Although I received a some negative labels when I tested the project on myself, less than a dozen out of 150 labels I received were slanted in a negative manner. In fact for the latest model I had labeled nearly 50% of those who submitted labels said she was beautiful. My models were pleasantly surprised to discover that rather than being given offensive slurs, they found ego boosting compliments to their positive actions.
While doing 365 Faces of the Year the thing I’ve been most continually surprised by is how easy it is to meet someone. In line for coffee, in bookstores, at shows, through friends, at parks, on planes... it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been turned down for interviews by people who were busy or just not in a particularly talkative mood, but despite the fact that I’m 281 days in, I would say the TOTAL times people have rejected my requests for interviews would be less than 100. And that’s including a few bad days were I’d get turned down by 4 people in a row. Almost every person I’ve asked to be in the project seems interested and I hope (though I can’t speak for them), they enjoy themselves as much as I do. It truly amazes me how easy it is to meet people, and how after meeting someone once the doorway to a friendship is opened. The vast majority of people I’ve interviewed were total strangers when I began, but now when looking down the list I see more friends than strangers. Furthermore, appearances don’t seem to matter, approach and attitude is everything. When I started this project I had long curly hair and was much more “socially acceptable”in appearance. However now I’m sporting a mohawk, and despite the fact that some perceptions of me have changed, I noticed no difference in how people have responded to my project. Even if people make an initial judgement, this in no way seems to affect their willingness to change their minds.
I guess if there’s a point to this reflection it is to share my current optimism. In my experience with these projects, strangers are willing to give their time and aren’t as judging as society says they are. And the barriers between us and the people we encounter tend not to be due to a lack of interest in new relationships and friendships or due to judgements and prejudice, but rather because we’re too lazy to initiate them.
Song of the Week
Breathe of Life by Erasure
or Butterfly by Jason Mraz
365 Faces of the Year is a noteworthy project not due to the quality of the photographs or the answers received, but rather for the sheer number of photographs and answers. The similarities and differences, the unexpected answers and unusual perspectives... they all contribute to some greater whole that is hard to define (given that I’m not done, I don’t think I can or should try to define it now). But everyday is a new day, and it’s hard to push the envelope when everyday is a new quest.
Meanwhile while working on Living in Labels instead of starting on a fresh page everyday I come into the studio with a goal and go from there. Weeks before a shoot I start collecting the labels, organizing them, and when I go into the studio my model is ready to face how other’s perceive them while taking a portrait. There’s a lot of preparation involved in the shoot and rather than being a snapshot portrait, the photos are legitimate portraits.
Both of these projects look at what is and what appears to be within an individual. One asks others how they judge and then presents the individual with those judgements. The other asks individuals questions and presents them for judgement. The central theme of identity seems to be something I can’t get away from, especially given that it wasn’t something I consciously thought I should shape my major projects around.
Something I’ve noticed especially with Living in Labels is the difference between what people assume people think, and what people do think (or at least what thoughts they present). Despite the fact that people are given the chance to provide anonymous feedback, the amount of negative feedback has been almost non-existent. Although I received a some negative labels when I tested the project on myself, less than a dozen out of 150 labels I received were slanted in a negative manner. In fact for the latest model I had labeled nearly 50% of those who submitted labels said she was beautiful. My models were pleasantly surprised to discover that rather than being given offensive slurs, they found ego boosting compliments to their positive actions.
While doing 365 Faces of the Year the thing I’ve been most continually surprised by is how easy it is to meet someone. In line for coffee, in bookstores, at shows, through friends, at parks, on planes... it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been turned down for interviews by people who were busy or just not in a particularly talkative mood, but despite the fact that I’m 281 days in, I would say the TOTAL times people have rejected my requests for interviews would be less than 100. And that’s including a few bad days were I’d get turned down by 4 people in a row. Almost every person I’ve asked to be in the project seems interested and I hope (though I can’t speak for them), they enjoy themselves as much as I do. It truly amazes me how easy it is to meet people, and how after meeting someone once the doorway to a friendship is opened. The vast majority of people I’ve interviewed were total strangers when I began, but now when looking down the list I see more friends than strangers. Furthermore, appearances don’t seem to matter, approach and attitude is everything. When I started this project I had long curly hair and was much more “socially acceptable”in appearance. However now I’m sporting a mohawk, and despite the fact that some perceptions of me have changed, I noticed no difference in how people have responded to my project. Even if people make an initial judgement, this in no way seems to affect their willingness to change their minds.
I guess if there’s a point to this reflection it is to share my current optimism. In my experience with these projects, strangers are willing to give their time and aren’t as judging as society says they are. And the barriers between us and the people we encounter tend not to be due to a lack of interest in new relationships and friendships or due to judgements and prejudice, but rather because we’re too lazy to initiate them.
Song of the Week
Breathe of Life by Erasure
or Butterfly by Jason Mraz
Saturday 31 May 2008
Thursday 8 May 2008
The process continues...
For those of you quick to assume the project has died I’d like to inform you: it has NOT. However the labeling process for people who are not me is much slower than with me. While people are quick to offer opinions when they know I am the one asked for their views on myself, I get many more responses than if I approach them asking for their opinions on others who they may or may not know. And while I received over one hundred and thirty labels quickly following my request to be labeled, After nearly two weeks of sending e-mails, creating a facebook event and talking to people I'm only nearing about 20 a piece for each of the two boys being labeled and the other girl has a few more. I'm now thinking that number of labels they’ve received is a more realistic expectation and I'm the exception to the rule, however if you've not labeled them and would like to contribute, the set of images by which to go off of are available in the facebook group. (Link is to the right)
I hope you’re doing well and I hope to have photo updates for you soon!
I hope you’re doing well and I hope to have photo updates for you soon!
Sunday 13 April 2008
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